Skip to main content

Results from the third loss

I kinda left you all hanging on the 3rd loss. But I promise it wasn’t on purpose. Until this past Thursday, we didn’t have all the answers. We heard from the nurse last week that the baby had trisomy 11, and was a boy. I was actually relieved it was a trisomy. How terrible is that? But that meant that it was a more common miscarriage, not one of these 2% chance events. But we didn’t really know what that meant until we met with the doctor on Thursday. He explained that with Trisomy 11, the baby wouldn’t have survived outside of the womb, and it’s unlikely we would have even made it past 8 weeks.

He went on to explain that all 3 of our losses have been totally random. There really is no explanation as to why one person would have an ectopic, a triploidy, and a trisomy. Which may sound frustrating, but it was actually a relief to us. That means there probably isn’t an underlying issue with one of us (other than my low AMH). He suggested we do a miscarriage panel on me (which requires 17 vials of blood. Shoot me now) and a chromosome test on Reid. He really doesn’t think it’s likely we’ll find something else – in fact he said there’s a 3% chance that there’s a bigger issue with one of us – but it doesn’t hurt to check so we can potentially avoid another heartbreak. The tests will check for any genetic issues such as chromosomal abnormalities, inflammation, and auto-immune issues. Since we’ve done POC (products of conception) testing on the last two babies, they know that these losses weren’t due to issues with one of us, but this will hopefully give us some peace of mind for future pregnancies.

Same as last time, we had to check to make sure my HCG level was back down to zero. Thank God, it was. Last time it took 12 weeks and it was torture going in week after week for blood tests.

So what next? Our story has changed a lot since July of last year. We went from trying for 15 months and being told that we needed to do IVF, to now getting pregnant twice on our own. The last one we had only been trying a month. So the doctor’s recommendation has obviously changed as well. He feels quite comfortable in saying that we shouldn’t have to do IVF (whew!)… that is, unless for some reason we aren’t able to get pregnant again on our own in the next several months, and as long as the genetic testing comes back normal. He actually said “whether you guys try on your own, or I help you with medical intervention – ultimately it’s all up to God.” And he’s so right. So we’ll leave it in his hands and pray for the best!

So now you’re up to speed on our story. We’re here at present day. Not trying, not not trying. Just working on living our lives and enjoying this moment as much as we can. We are now hopeful for our future, and confident that we’ll have a baby at some point, in some way.

I was laying on the acupuncturist’s table yesterday and started praying. It took me by surprise the things I was saying to God. Usually I would lay there and say “please God, let this baby be our miracle,” or “please let us have a healthy baby soon,” but yesterday I found myself praying “thank you, God, for this experience. Thank you for everything we’ve been through, and for the amazing growth experience you’ve put in front of us.” If you had told me a year ago today that I would be thanking God for all of the heartbreak, loss, and challenges we’ve gone through, I would tell you you’re crazy. But here I am. I hope that if you or someone you know is going through this, this gives you hope. You WILL come out stronger. You WILL see the light at the end of the tunnel. You WILL find your happiness again. And that doesn’t always have to be after you have a healthy baby. We’re still in the middle of this. We haven’t had our happy ending, but I’m confident that we will. And when we do, it will be so much greater, and we will appreciate it so much more because of what we’ve gone through.


Our tough days aren’t over, I’m sure. And even when we get pregnant again, we’ll have some challenges ahead of us. But we can do it, and a big part of that is knowing the support system we have. Thank you to all of you who have been praying for and supporting us!     

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Our Tiny Miracle - Kaylee June

Let me tell you about a little girl who has stolen our hearts, but almost never came to be.
After three natural pregnancy losses and two rounds of IVF (in-vitro fertilization), we started our third round of IVF in the summer of 2018. Two of our pregnancy losses were due to chromosome issues so we did PGS (Pre-implantation Genetic Screening – checking the chromosomes of embryos for abnormalities) testing for our first two rounds of IVF. All (4) of those embryos were deemed “abnormal”… they either had an extra chromosome or they were missing one. And they were all issues that were not compatible with life. So going into round 3 we were looking for a “fresh start”. To our surprise, our doctor (who is amazing at thinking “outside of the box”) suggested we forgo the PGS testing for our 3rd round. Each of our chromosome abnormalities, including two of the pregnancy losses, were all different abnormalities (it was a different chromosome missing or extra each time). So he thought it wasn’t …

Reid's health - Hospital stay #2

When I started writing this blog, it was dedicated to one topic – infertility and pregnancy loss. I guess that’s two topics, but very closely related. I did not think the type of miracle I would be impatiently waiting for would change. We now need a miracle for my husband, Reid. A month ago I shared that we were in the hospital and he had cholangitis. At that time, we knew that it meant his Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis (PSC) – an inflammation of the bile ducts in his liver – was progressing. But we weren’t sure by how much. So we had follow up appointments and procedures scheduled with his doctors. Next Tuesday he was set to go have a Spyglass procedure so we could see where he was. He had been feeling significantly better after his last hospital stay, and we thought things were looking much better.
Early Wednesday morning he woke me around 3 a.m. with liver pains (yes, unfortunately he actually knows what liver pains feel like). We decided to come into the ER, given his last situa…

After the Storm

I’ve stared at a blank page on my screen several times over the last few weeks, trying to find the words. Today I’m committed to sharing, no matter how those words come out. So please bear with me.
Over the last few months, I’ve dealt with some serious anxiety. And I’ve avoided sharing. Because I had babies recently. And often the response is, “You’re a new mom, it’s normal to have anxiety.” And that’s true. It is normal to have “new mom” anxiety, and to have a new level of stress that comes with raising tiny humans. However, what I’ve been dealing with is so much more. I wake up in the middle of the night with a pit in my stomach and have to catch my breath. I often think about losing my husband or one of our babies, and I spiral into a pit of anxiety. Every time I walk up and down the stairs with a baby in my arms, I am anxious that they are suddenly going to throw themselves out of my arms and go over the railing. If Reid doesn’t do something for the babies the exact way I would …