Skip to main content

Stop with the judging

 For the love of God, can we please quit pointing our damn fingers?!

Guess who you have control over? YOURSELF. That’s it. Literally. I don’t even have “control” over my 19 month old twins – because they are human beings with their own thoughts and emotions. I can steer them as best I can to be good people. I can raise them to be kind and loving and to do their best. But I cannot control them. I cannot change their actions. I cannot make every decision for them – even as 19 month olds (have you tried to dress a toddler who doesn’t want to be dressed in that moment???) What I can do is set the best example possible. I can work on myself. I can show them how to care for others. I can use kind words when talking to and about people. We are all individual people. We are all entitled to our own opinions. And those opinions are going to differ from time to time. And that’s okay.

Stop blaming others for issues in the world. I’m so damn tired of seeing people make broad statements about entire groups of people. Whether that be political party, economic status, color, race, religion. Just because you identify with a “group” of people (whether by choice or if you were born into that group) does not mean you are exactly like everyone else in that group. So what entitles any of us to judge? And why are we spending so much time and energy spreading hate? The first step to making our world a better place? Make yourself a better person. WORK. ON. YOURSELF. Try to see different opinions and understand them. Ask someone for their honest thoughts and truly listen. You don’t have to like what they say, and you definitely don’t have to agree with them. But by listening and understanding why another person feels the way they do, we become better people. We become more compassionate – and I believe smarter. Even if you walk away from that conversation thinking, “well that’s exactly the opposite of the way I want to treat others” – then you learned a lesson from it. 

Yes, there are terrible things happening in the world right now. Yes, we’re all frustrated and over it and just want things to be “back to normal”. But do we really? I believe we’re being given a unique opportunity to stop and learn from others. To listen, and to put in the work to make ourselves better people.

So please, next time you want to comment about what others are doing or make a bold statement about an entire group of people – stop and think how you can truly help in that situation. What can you do to make this world better? I can guarantee the answer is not spreading hate. It has to start with you. Make yourself better. Because every single one of us has room for growth. Always.


Popular posts from this blog

Reid's health - Hospital stay #2

When I started writing this blog, it was dedicated to one topic – infertility and pregnancy loss. I guess that’s two topics, but very closely related. I did not think the type of miracle I would be impatiently waiting for would change. We now need a miracle for my husband, Reid. A month ago I shared that we were in the hospital and he had cholangitis. At that time, we knew that it meant his Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis (PSC) – an inflammation of the bile ducts in his liver – was progressing. But we weren’t sure by how much. So we had follow up appointments and procedures scheduled with his doctors. Next Tuesday he was set to go have a Spyglass procedure so we could see where he was. He had been feeling significantly better after his last hospital stay, and we thought things were looking much better. Early Wednesday morning he woke me around 3 a.m. with liver pains (yes, unfortunately he actually knows what liver pains feel like). We decided to come into the ER, given his last si

After the Storm

I’ve stared at a blank page on my screen several times over the last few weeks, trying to find the words. Today I’m committed to sharing, no matter how those words come out. So please bear with me. Over the last few months, I’ve dealt with some serious anxiety. And I’ve avoided sharing. Because I had babies recently. And often the response is, “You’re a new mom, it’s normal to have anxiety.” And that’s true. It is normal to have “new mom” anxiety, and to have a new level of stress that comes with raising tiny humans. However, what I’ve been dealing with is so much more. I wake up in the middle of the night with a pit in my stomach and have to catch my breath. I often think about losing my husband or one of our babies, and I spiral into a pit of anxiety. Every time I walk up and down the stairs with a baby in my arms, I am anxious that they are suddenly going to throw themselves out of my arms and go over the railing. If Reid doesn’t do something for the babies the exact way I wou

One Month Liver-versary

Today marks one month since Reid was wheeled into the Operating Room for his liver transplant. One month since our lives changed forever. That was the best day, but I’ll be honest – it was also the hardest day of my life. I don’t think we were fully prepared for the emotions that would surround that day. And it’s just now catching up to us that this happened. One month ago he received the ultimate gift. He received the gift of life. The gift of not living with his disease, Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis, and all of the symptoms that came with it. The gift of not having to worry every day that cancer was taking over his liver. The gift of looking forward to watching his babies be born, and not having to worry how long he’d be around to raise them. The gift of no longer wondering whether he would ever get the liver transplant he needed. An absolutely priceless gift. I don’t even know that I can properly vocalize the emotions we felt in the 33 hours leading up to him being taken bac