Skip to main content

Just Wait

This weekend Reid and I hosted our annual Super Bowl party. We love to host it every year, but of course that does come with some stress preparing the house and getting everything ready. I woke up early on Sunday, and was picking up around the house when I realized the upstairs toilet was still broken. I had let Reid know about it months ago (and every couple of weeks since then), but he is a professional procrastinator. And honestly we very rarely use that bathroom, so it was kind of “out of sight, out of mind”. But I was pissed. Here we were, preparing to have 25 adults and 6 kids over, and one of our toilets wasn’t working. I stormed into the bedroom and inquired as to when he was going to fix it, seeing as we needed it TODAY. We had so many other things to do that day, and now he has to take a toilet apart. I started explaining to him that now I see that being a 3 hour job (yes, I like to over-dramatize the situation from time to time) and then what if he can’t fix it and now we don’t have any extra time to spend on it. His response: “I understand that you’re mad I haven’t done it yet. But can you at least wait until I actually fail to fix it before you get mad that I can’t?”

Wow. What a profound thing to say.

I am Christian, but I wouldn’t say I’m super religious. And lately I’ve been very mad at God. While my overall attitude has been better, I wouldn’t say that it’s because I’ve put my trust in God that everything will work out. In fact, I’ve started to distrust Him. Some days I’ve decided that He isn’t going to “fix” our situation, so I become really angry with Him. But truth is, His time’s not up yet. I just can’t see the full plan. The party hasn’t started. I have to say though, even typing that out makes my skin crawl. Because I’ve heard so many times throughout this journey “God has a plan”, and while yes, that’s true, sometimes I want to punch the person telling me that because it’s usually not a good time for me to hear it. But it’s the truth. Months ago, when I mentioned the broken toilet, I can 100% guarantee you that Reid didn’t think “Oh, I better fix that because we’ll need to use that toilet during Super Bowl.” He didn’t know the full plan. And we don’t either.

Halfway through Reid fixing the toilet, I went upstairs to check on him and saw the complete mess that was the bathroom. Tools were strewn everywhere and the toilet parts were laying on the ground. It only increased my anxiety, because I just couldn’t see that mess turning back into my clean bathroom. But that’s where we are right now… the mess. The parts are out of place, and the tools are laying all over the floor. But He’s working on us.

Thanks for that reminder, God. I do believe that my Mema had something to do with that message. And it makes me smile just thinking about it.

Oh, and Reid would like you all to know that the toilet DID get fixed. With plenty of time to spare. 
Labels:

Comments

  1. AnnaFebruary 7, 2018 at 6:53 AM

    What a beautiful and profound message/reminder! In a recent church conference one of the leaders spoke about how you can only see the dots connect looking back and going forward we truly have to have faith in the plan. Not easy for sure, but necessary. Sending you continuous love and prayers! Also, I’m glad Reid got the toilet fixed!😉

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Our Tiny Miracle - Kaylee June

Let me tell you about a little girl who has stolen our hearts, but almost never came to be. After three natural pregnancy losses and two rounds of IVF (in-vitro fertilization), we started our third round of IVF in the summer of 2018. Two of our pregnancy losses were due to chromosome issues so we did PGS (Pre-implantation Genetic Screening – checking the chromosomes of embryos for abnormalities) testing for our first two rounds of IVF. All (4) of those embryos were deemed “abnormal”… they either had an extra chromosome or they were missing one. And they were all issues that were not compatible with life. So going into round 3 we were looking for a “fresh start”. To our surprise, our doctor (who is amazing at thinking “outside of the box”) suggested we forgo the PGS testing for our 3 rd round. Each of our chromosome abnormalities, including two of the pregnancy losses, were all different abnormalities (it was a different chromosome missing or extra each time). So he thought it wa
Post a Comment
Read more

After the Storm

I’ve stared at a blank page on my screen several times over the last few weeks, trying to find the words. Today I’m committed to sharing, no matter how those words come out. So please bear with me. Over the last few months, I’ve dealt with some serious anxiety. And I’ve avoided sharing. Because I had babies recently. And often the response is, “You’re a new mom, it’s normal to have anxiety.” And that’s true. It is normal to have “new mom” anxiety, and to have a new level of stress that comes with raising tiny humans. However, what I’ve been dealing with is so much more. I wake up in the middle of the night with a pit in my stomach and have to catch my breath. I often think about losing my husband or one of our babies, and I spiral into a pit of anxiety. Every time I walk up and down the stairs with a baby in my arms, I am anxious that they are suddenly going to throw themselves out of my arms and go over the railing. If Reid doesn’t do something for the babies the exact way I wou
1 comment
Read more

Stop with the judging

 For the love of God, can we please quit pointing our damn fingers?! Guess who you have control over? YOURSELF. That’s it. Literally. I don’t even have “control” over my 19 month old twins – because they are human beings with their own thoughts and emotions. I can steer them as best I can to be good people. I can raise them to be kind and loving and to do their best. But I cannot control them. I cannot change their actions. I cannot make every decision for them – even as 19 month olds (have you tried to dress a toddler who doesn’t want to be dressed in that moment???) What I can do is set the best example possible. I can work on myself. I can show them how to care for others. I can use kind words when talking to and about people. We are all individual people. We are all entitled to our own opinions. And those opinions are going to differ from time to time. And that’s okay. Stop blaming others for issues in the world. I’m so damn tired of seeing people make broad statements about en
Post a Comment
Read more