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Our "Abortion" Stories

I have sat on what I’m about to tell you for years. I have wanted to share but fear judgement, ridicule, and pure hate that might come my way from speaking out. But the events of this past week just make me sick to my stomach, so I hope you’ll read this and just consider another side of the story for a moment.

I have had 3 abortions. And those babies were wanted more than I can ever put into words.

After 9 months of trying, we finally learned we were pregnant in April of 2015. We were ecstatic. Fast forward a few weeks and I am in the emergency room in excruciating pain. The pregnancy was in my fallopian tube, and the tube had ruptured. I had internal bleeding and had to be rushed into emergency surgery right away to save my life. But end my baby’s life. There was no possible way to save the pregnancy, but they could save me.

Over a year later, we were pregnant again. We went to weekly ultrasounds and saw the baby growing. We picked out names depending if it was a boy or girl. We shared with family and friends. And then I went in for one of my weekly ultrasounds and learned our baby had died a week before. For a week I had been walking around with my baby dead inside of me and had no idea. We scheduled a D&C (an abortion, in medical terms) for the next day. Our baby no longer had a heartbeat and I wanted to try to get some answers as to why this happened. I will never forget sitting in that surgery center and the nurse confirming my procedure with me… “you’re here for an abortion today, correct?” My insides ached. This was not what I understood abortion to be.

And three months after that, we were pregnant again but the baby failed to grow. After weeks of scans, we never saw a heartbeat. And I had another D&C to try to learn once again what had happened to our baby we wanted so badly. These last two “abortions” helped us gain knowledge about what was going on with my body, and allowed us to make decisions that helped us have Oliver and Kaylee.

During our four years of trying to have kids, we had four losses and three of them I was fortunate to have the medical ability to “end” the pregnancy (which was already over). If you take away abortion rights for all, it puts so many in serious danger. Abortion is not so straight forward. So please just consider this as you fight for something that is affecting so many – many people like us who desperately want kids.

Please be gentle in your comments. I have seen so many comments about “baby killers” over the last few years when talking about abortion and those hurt deep. I hope by sharing this, I’m able to show you another side of the story and help you to understand why abortion is a medical right that should not be taken away. Please be kind and understand another perspective.


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